I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
