He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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