they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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