Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Boobs speak an international language.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
