Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
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