well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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