I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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