About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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