Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
our cab driver is having phone sex.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
My bed smells like the plague
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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