All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
