East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
