I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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