So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
So gin and wine won't be happening again
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
