Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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