My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
