I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
