i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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