Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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