You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
