so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
We had to coat check the pizza.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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