even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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