I got chris browned last night
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks