I want to walk on stilts...naked
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
