So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.