I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Dating After Heartbreak
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.