I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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