Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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