That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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