i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
