she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
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