I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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