Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
