so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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