Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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