Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
This girl is more easily done than said...
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
