Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
