dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize