Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
