so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
