girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
