hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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