Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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