put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
