used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize
