i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
My dad is sitting where you rode me
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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