that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
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Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
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I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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