Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize