Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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