Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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