her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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