Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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