Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
