my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Randomize
