It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
My dick has a subreddit
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
