He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
