It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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