Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
