Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Randomize
