I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
