I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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