Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
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so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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