It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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