if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Sext me about skeletons
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize