Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
